The first week of classes is nothing short of a whirlwind. Not that I’m taking classes. The only thing in the way of me completing my final two semesters of college is, well, money…go figure. But that’s a different story.
This is about the strange phenomenon known as welcome week; where time is never enough, bodies never stand still, sleep no longer exists, it’s considered “ok” to be a stalker, and I realize yet again how socially awkward I am when it comes to meeting people.
I forget every year how packed welcome week is. Dorm move-ins followed by the bbq at the gazebo (with option of joining in a game of ninja or ultimate frisbee), rock band parties, game nights, sand volleyball, international student orientation, Cowboys and aliens party (rained-out and moved to friday), first XA on Thursday, rescheduled C&A party followed by capture the flag on campus, then another round of capture the flag saturday (for me date night with the hubs), resource and movie night yesterday, and tonight…all girls dance party at the XA house. Oh. my. gosh. I’m. tired.
A midst the conglomeration of events throughout the week, and the general feeling of fatigue and/or delirium, the Lord is doing something. He’s building His Kingdom and He’s using us to do it.
I don’t think we ever get to a point that we feel worthy of that which the Lord has called us to. In fact, often the times where the Lord has used me the most are the times I’ve felt the most ill equipped. But what a perfect place to be to lead a small group. When I’m at a point in my life where I admit I can’t do it, I’m at a point where the Lord can show me He can.
Before I surrendered my life to Christ, my mother used to pray that I would come to the end of myself. I didn’t know this of course until after the fact, but that was the key. I needed to see that I was not enough. Now I realize, that not only am I not enough for myself, I’m not enough for these girls either. Only when I have reached that point am I truly dependent on the Lord, and completely in submission to His will.
I need to be reminded that in building a small group, it isn’t about me. I’m not here to build my kingdom, I am here to build God’s.